I’m not lucky, I’m blessed, that you’re my sister.

My older sister was born on St. Patrick’s Day. I suppose you could say I’m “lucky” to have her as my sister, but I disagree. I’m beyond blessed that she’s my sister, and even more blessed that she’s older than me.

            Growing up, I was constantly envious of her doing everything first. I so badly wanted to do something, anything first, and pave my own way. I saw it all through rose-colored glasses: first time to ride the bus, first field trip, first sleepover at a friend’s house, first school dance, first time you drove… the list of “firsts” goes on, and with each one you had, I became more jealous and resentful that I would never experience anything “first”.

            What I didn’t see was all of the other “firsts” you had to navigate, alone. The first time you were bullied, first lost friendship, first heartbreak, first car accident… You had to figure out all of the hard and challenging “firsts” without someone who walked it in front of you. You didn’t have a sibling walking those challenging years right in front of you, to lead by example or to give a word of caution so that you could avoid a mistake. I had the privilege of watching you grow up in front of me, and you provided the example of which way to go, and sometimes which routes to avoid. I didn’t realize what an incredible blessing that was at the time.

            As we’ve grown older, I’m beyond grateful that you went first, especially now that I’m navigating motherhood. The blessing of being second is that you can reach forward and grasp the hand of the one who went first. You were the first person I called when I was a new mama, sobbing and overwhelmed in the early newborn days. You cried with me and showed me your tender heart, and gave me the encouragement and strength to persevere. You were there for me in the middle of the night when I had a question that just couldn’t wait until morning. You are there for me in a way that only an older sister can be. You are endlessly patient, kind, and display God’s love through the way you love me.

            I know our order birth wasn’t by choice, but God clearly knew what he was doing when he made you my older sister. I’ve learned so much from you by going second, and am now so grateful that you’re first. I’m even more thankful for the way that you continuously reach back, grasp my hand, and guide me through life. You live and lead by example, but also by the intentional effort you make in our relationship and the relationships around you. I can never repay you for the love and kindness you’ve shown me over the years, but I hope to pay it forward, by once again following your example. I want to be as kind and as intentional with others as you have been with me. You’re my sister by birth, but my best friend by choice.

            You were born on the luckiest day of the year, but I’d argue that for me, it’s a blessed day of the year – because I’m beyond blessed that you’re my sister.